The new and improved Walk of Shame

Grocery shopping with a two year old is hard. I have to pack copious snacks and distractions and yet we still end up opening something before it's purchased to avoid the screaming melt-down.

But today was even more awesome.

Today Oliver went into the store looking fairly cute with his motorcycle t-shirt, brown jeans, and brown sneaker. He might have had blue lips from the popsicle he had earlier but he's getting over a cold and I was ready to defend my blue lipped child from the judgmental parenting masses!

When we left, he was wearing a lot less.

Why? Poop. Lots of poop. All over his clothes.

I made the discovery in the produce section. At first I hoped the stain on his shirt was just left over from his diaper this morning and that I had somehow missed it before we left the house. Closer inspection showed me I was wrong. Really wrong.

After a hasty retreat to the women's restroom (really, I have to pay a quarter to get in!) I discover I have no wipes.

Awesome.

Thank heaven that this is one of the few bathrooms in Los Angeles that actually has paper towels. I cleaned up my kid and cleaned up the mess cleaning up my kid caused but I had no spare clothes for him.

So Oliver left the grocery store wearing only his adorable elephant cloth diaper and his shoes.

And I made the Walk of Shame. Because really, who in that store wasn't thinking something along the lines of "Why isn't that little boy wearing any clothes?" or "What kind of mother can't dress her child before taking him out of the house?" or even "Seriously? WTF is wrong with that woman?"

Oh did I mention Oliver has recently become fascinated with twiddling his nipples?

Awesome.